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Daniel's IM

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Saturday 21 May 2005

01:02

Emil is still picking up Felicia, Adam, and Ziggy. It's taking a lot longer than I would have expected.

02:30

They're back. Emil, Adam, and Felicia sit by the body, chatting about Mom. I learn that she was pretty out of it Friday morning, not really lucid (as Fel tried to speak to Mom). Lots of grunting and the occasional lucid moments ("I'm tired of this cough"). Mom was really unhappy with the troubles the cancer was causing with keeping food down.

03:30

The funeral home director, his son, and an assistant remove Mom's body and then go over details for her obituary. We're all pretty punch-drunk at this point. Exhaustion, relief, sadness.

04:18

All are in bed. I'm finishing my notes. I'm tired, so tired: it's been three days of very little sleep and this 24-hour stretch. It's time to sleep.

11:00

Ziggy and Adam rouse me for breakfast. I'm trying to change my return flight by a few hours so we can host a rememberance here at the house, but it's no-go thus far. The guys use the backfiring lawnmower as a distraction, they say.

13:00

I can't change a thing about the tickets I already had, but I can get a cheap flight back to SFO on JetBlue. They have no electrical power in the plane but they are proud of their DirectTV service to each seat. Avis extends the car by a day without penalty or change in rate. So I'll stay one more day, able to be here for the entire life celebration we'll be having at the house. I'm looking forward to being with some of Mom's friends.

13:30

Funeral home paperwork. Cremation; just the way she wanted.

14:00

We're all hungry, and the Bombay Diner (on Prince Rodgers Drive) in Bridgewater is suggested.

What a great choice! A really wonderful Indian restaurant near to the house. We all relax, chat, and chat about Mom.

Then we head next door to Sunrise Groceries and Spices, an Indian shop. Absolutely wonderful! We enjoy the sights, smells, and sounds.

15:00

Felicia is on phone, first with Omi Marga, who tells us that she'd chatted with Mom yesterday, and sang her a German children's lullaby with the words "sleep, my child, sleep". Mom answered "Mama, I will" and shortly thereafter slipped into her last hours. Omi ended the phone call by saying "I used to have a daughter", which was hard for all of us to hear.

Fel then goes through Mom's phone book, calling friends near and far, telling them of our celebration of Mom's life get-together on Monday, now scheduled for 13:00.

A well-wisher comes by with a plate of different kinds of homemade sandwiches. How very thoughtful.

Emil's son Steven, girlfriend, and dog arrive. Tomorrow is his college graduation. (Congrats, Steven!) Here's Foxy listening to every word Adam is saying.

Here's Steven and his girlfriend. He's always wonderful, and she's got a very funny sense of humor.

22:00

I call Lila, Isaac, and Rose; they're three hours behind us. Dinner time. Sure enough, perfect timing. I get to chat as Rose is cooking. They went on MUNI today, and saw a CalTrain, and there was pigeon poop, ... (I always get the important news.)

I'm speaking to them from the back yard, where I used to play for countless hours as a child. (This was before the mall sprouted nearby, when kids had to actually imagine as play. This is where I did it.) Here's the view into the now-empty eating nook, a greenhouse, which I think was Mom's favorite part of the place.

23:00

I'm tired, and hungry, and not ready to sleep. So I head over to the local all-night diner.

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