You may be an engineer if...

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You may be an engineer if...

  • You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"

  • Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner

  • You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

  • You want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

  • Dilbert is your hero

  • You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

  • You can name 6 Star Trek episodes

  • The only jokes you receive are through email

  • Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

  • Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

  • You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

  • You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

  • You have used coat hangers & duct tape for something other than hanging coats & taping ducts

  • At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out light bulb in the string

  • You window shop at Radio Shack

  • Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

  • You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area

  • You carry on a one hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually took five minutes to run

  • You are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener & your camera's flash attachment

  • You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is

  • You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

  • You know the direction the water swirls when you flush

  • You own "Official Star Trek" anything

  • You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside

  • A team of you & your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception

  • You have ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project

  • You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor

  • You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

  • You have never backed-up your hard drive

  • You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud

  • You truly believe aliens are living among us

  • You have ever saved a power cord from a broken appliance

  • You have ever purchased an electric appliance "as-is"

  • You see a good design but still hsve to change it

  • The sales person at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

  • You still own a slide rule & know how to work it

  • The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind

  • You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are

  • You rotate your screen savers more than your automobile tires

  • You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

  • You have more toys than your kids

  • You need a checklist to turn on your TV

  • You have introduced your kids by the wrong name

  • You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

  • Your I.Q. is bigger than your weight

  • The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work & you rush up front to fix it

  • You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

  • You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel & have seen most of the shows already

  • You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key & know what RPN stands for

  • Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first cloor TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, & you grew up thinking this was normal

  • You know how to take the cover off your computer, & what size screw driver to use

  • You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

  • People groan at a party when you pick out the music

  • You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week

  • You did the sound system for your senior prom

  • Your checkbook always balances

  • Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

  • You have more friends on the internet than in real life

  • You thought the real heros of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers

  • You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep

  • You spend more on your home computer than your car

  • You know what http:/ stand for

  • You've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio

  • You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts & nuts in your garage

  • Your 3 year old son asks you why the sky is blue & you try to explain the atmospheric absorption theory

  • Your lap-top computer costs more than your car

  • Your 4 basic food groups are: 1. caffèine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate

    If you answered yes to any of these, You MAY be an .... ENGINEER!!!

    Have you found errors nontrivial or marginal, factual, analytical and illogical, arithmetical, temporal, or even typographical? Please let me know; drop me email. Thanks!

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