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Spam Haiku
A sample of the finest Spam Haiku available...
Grotesque pinkish mass
Like some spongy rock,
Oh Argentina!
The color of spam
Little slab of meat
Oh tin of pink meat
In the cool morning
Pink tender morsel,
Ears, snouts and innards,
Cube of cold pinkness
Old man seeks doctor.
Highly unnatural,
Coincidentally, we had recently been corresponding with a Professor Soya, of Tokyo, who had discovered two such Haiku's in a fourteenth century manuscript by Sashimi, a famous warrior monk and his Buddhist nun consort, Sushi. How mysterious this universe is!
Here's the one by Sushi:
Slicing your sweet self
Here is Sashimi's:
Pink beefy Temptress
Note: The text of the first line seems to be corrupt. Other readings are "Pink porky Temptress" and also "Pink SNOUTY Temptress" (Saito, Transcendental Buddhist Poetry of Medieval Japan, 1956, p. 384).
More of the same from the Spam Page:
Hannibal Lecter
What is more awful
Wedding catered by
In a blue can on a shelf
Quivering alone
a granite, my piece of spam
In sunlight on my plate
Your little tin of meat soars,
Above the pampas
Is natural as the sky;
a block of sunrise
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan
I ponder what you may be;
snout or ear or feet?
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.
Yellow specks of porcine fat.
Give me a spork please.
"I eat SPAM daily", he says.
Angioplasty.
The tortured shape of this "food".
A small pink coffin.
Salivating in suspense
Sizzle, sizzle... Spam
I can no longer remain,
Vegetarian
Eats livers, but no pig snouts.
Silence of the Spams. -Chris Fishel
Than the sound of squishing Spam?
A Kenny G tune. -Screamin' Phil Erickson
Hormel. Reception marred by
Sudden illnesses. -John Cho
| Have you found errors nontrivial or marginal, factual, analytical and illogical, arithmetical, temporal, or even typographical? Please let me know; drop me email. Thanks! |