My, my... Lookee what's up *there*...

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My, my... Lookee what's up *there*...

Date: 2 Jan 1996 18:11:46 GMT
Subject: [local.tiac] My, my... Lookee what's up *there*...

From: (Robert A. Hettinga) Newsgroups: local.tiac Subject: Re: My, my... Lookee what's up *there*...

Alfred E, "Sparky", "What, me worry?" Thompson II wrote:
 | No, you don't get it. But since both english and common sence seem to
 | beyond you I see not point in continueing.

Nope, Sparky, you missed the point. Again. Go stick your nose in that circle I drew on the blackboard, and don't come back for 5 minutes. Since spelling *and* English are both beyond you, I'll try to enlighten you once more...

Now class, clearly Sparky needs a lesson in net.flamage. I'll endeavor here to give you all a lesson. Pay attention. You too, Sparky. *Put* you nose back there mister, or I'll send you to the office...

Sparky seems to have violated just about every rule there is about flame-warfare on the net, including spell-flaming, which I just illustrated, so I'll just instruct you in the proper conduct thereof by way of demonstrating the fallacy of his entire position.

First, let's see if I can show you a *proper* troll:

Sparky, your arguments smack of the kind of appeals to authority one would typically find in hierarchical, authoritarian institutions. Are you possibly a school-teacher?

Notice, class, that I have insulted him way beyond what was necessary for the occasion, and I also insulted not only him, but people in all hierarchical, authoritarian institutions everywhere, not to mention all schoolteachers. That should draw fire from everyone, including the NEA.

Let's continue the exercise...

| What I would have done was to send mail directly to system managers. In
| my case I would have sent mail to both support and webmaster at TIAC. 
| There are a few other direct channels I would have sent mail to as well.
| In fact there are a couple of places I did send mail.

Yes, we should tell mommy at the first possible sign of trouble, Sparks. Makes sense to me. Make sure the "little people" don't know so they don't get scared... Of course, they would have listened to someone as important as you are, being a schoolteacher and all, me, who knows when they would have gotten around to reading my mail...

That, class, was several informal fallacies in one argument. Who recognised them? No, PETE, you can't answer, we know you know them all... Flargh? What? Yes, there was a red herring, with the mommy part. Bear? Yes, there was both argumentum ad baculum, and also a misericordium thrown in there for good measure. Very Good, Class...

| Having once been a system manager I know how busy they are. I would not
| assume they would see your cleverly titled missive as something worth
| my attention. But maybe you didn't think this was important enough for
| mail?

Name dropper... Another appeal to authority and credentialism. I'll give you another hint, Sparky, free of charge. People naturally know that my good grooming and proper upbringing warrants their perusal of my ocassional posting. If they don't, I'll come after them with my trusty Binford StapleNinja Superconducting Linear-Induction staplegun and staple their testicles to a chair or two. Whether they've got testicles, or a chair or two, or not.

Now Class, see how I continue to insult him, particularly with the recurring "Sparky" line? I saw this in a bullring in Juarez once... Notice the false pomposity. An appeal to the audience, which has stood Mr. Limbaugh in good stead for most of his career. Finally, a running in-joke gag from at least a year ago, showing this clueless newbie for the utter that he really is...

| And BTW if you want to be taken seriously try and get peoples names 
| right. 

Clearly you mistook me for someone who leaves the default attribution line in Newswatcher alone in netnews replies. Hopefully you won't make *that* mistake again. 'nother hint, Sparks, look at the attribution line in *this* one...

Here, class, we show Sparky that we did in fact insult him in the previous post, and that furthermore, his cluelessness so blinds him to the joke at his expense, that it is necessary to explain it all to him. In triplicate.

| Earlier I wasn't sure if you intent was good or not.

No, it was entirely malicious. I was actually trying to troll for goody-two-shoes sanctimonious spittle-licking toady know-it-alls and get them to flame a simple informational posting about a serious security issue *all* clueful people should know about, not just the Duly Annointed and Responsible People in Positions of Authority, or their self-appointed lap-dogs.

What was that, class? Yes, PETE, it was sarcasm. Frequently wasted on literalists like Sparky here, I go over the top into mouth-foaming name-calling invective, throwing doubts on my sanity itself. The Capitalized Nouns add touch of Dr. Strangelove (Piece of Essence), to the whole ensemble...

| That doubt is now gone. The "Sparks" bit indicates that helping people is unlikely to 
| be in your nature.

Nope, Sparks, not trying to be helpful to anyone at all. Just trying to piss you off. Now, anyway...

Finally, class, a throwaway line. Kind of like Letterman's number one on his nightly top-ten list, it's meant to be a seque to the next of the night's activities.

Okay, Sparky. You can come sit in your seat, now. Class dismissed. Tomorrow, we finish rhetoric and start diagramming sentences...

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